Twas the night before Christmas, when all trough the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Barbie was typing in the kitchen with care, Taking skippers laptop and installing proprietary shitware.
Skipper sprung in a flash from the snug in her bed, Grabbing her laptop she scowled at Barbie and said: Ask toolbad? iTunes? Tools of the Jew! I wanted freedom! I wanted Linux GENTOO!
When out on the lawn there arose a surprise! An obese bearded man, with fire in his eyes, Straight trough the window he flew with a wheeze, The smell was unbearable, like stale semen and cheese.
“I'd just like to interject, you thick plastic bitch” “What you are referring to as 'Linux', is in fact, GNU/Linux, a tool to enrich” “Software freedom is the most important freedom of all. You've ruined her laptop, you're lucky I called!”
Stallman clicked his thick fingers and a classroom appeared. “You need re-education” he quipped, “Freedom is here!” “I don't care about freedom”, said Barbie, “I want a working PC” “I'll tell you what you fucking want”, replied Stallman, “Just wait and see!”
“Now gentoo! now, emacs! now git, bash, and lisp! On, glib! On, GNU-Screen!, on Mozilla and PostScript! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now install! install! Quickly, install!!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. So proprietary software was cast to the fire, GNU is a place of freedom, to surprise and inspire!
And then, in a twinkling, Stallman was gone, Skippers laptop barely worked, the WiFi-disconnected light shone. How am I supposed to use this? I want my files back! Don't worry said Barbie, We'll get you a Mac.